2012 Highlights (yep... I said 2012)

At the end of 2011 we decided to make a little family video using photos to highlight our year and then send the video to extended family so they could see our kids growing up and see our adventures and such. It was our intention to send it to all the cousins and grandparents for Christmas. Right around Easter of 2012 (*eyeroll*... I'm such a slacker!) we finally go the videos burned to DVDs and sent off to the grandparents and told them to just share. One side of the extended family popped the DVD in at the next big family gathering and we were told it was a hit. The other side of the extended family never even heard that the video existed, let alone watched it (but the grandparents did, and they enjoyed it hehehe :) ) I didn't think we could possibly botch up the idea so badly a second time. Thought we'd learned from experience and would do much better for 2012.

So early in December 2012 I started working on gathering the right photos to showcase each family member's year and attaching the music that the kids wanted, etc. It was an emotional project since I was culling through photos from Hawaii while preparing for a rough Christmas in a new place away from extended family while also preparing for a forced move to a new house within a few weeks. But I did it!! I finished the videos before Christmas. There was just one little bonus item we wanted to add to the end of the video... And what do you think happened? The whole project got back-burnered in chaos of the holidays and our move at the end of December. And then it was fairly forgotten. And finally around Easter time I remembered that we'd never sent the videos. They never got burned to DVDs. They just sat there on my computer, complete but not watched. I thought I'd try to get them burned and sent for Mother's Day. Nope. Missed that too.

Lame. Lame. Lame.

So last week I finally just uploaded them all to YouTube and sent the links to all our family members and best friends (the ones who gave us the idea to send videos in the first place). And I haven't heard a single word back from anyone after sending the links. HAHAHAHA. Talk about a flop and failure of epic proportions. Not sure I'll bother even trying this whole send-videos-to-family idea for 2013 since I clearly can't get it right. BUT! My kids absolutely love seeing their own year in review set to music of their choosing. It makes them happy. Which makes me happy. For all the scrapbooking I do for work, I'm horribly inconsistent about printing layouts or having books printed for my kids, so the videos are at least a fun way of documenting their years in review for them to enjoy and look back on.

I figured I wouldn't let all the video making work go to waste, and I'd go ahead and share all our little video clips here on the blog for anyone who might be interested (and for quick reference for when the kids want to watch them again). I'll list them in the order I would have burned them on DVD in case anyone feels inclined to watch them as they were intended to be viewed hehehe. I know it's a lot of video watching. I don't really expect anyone to sit down and just watch our whole year, but whatever LOL. If you want the condensed version probably just watch the last three vids that are of the whole family instead of individuals (but there are some gem photos in the individual vids too).

Here we go!

Hallelujah! Major milestone!

It finally happened. After four and a half months, I finally heard this song without bursting into tears. I only welled up a little and then sucked it up and kept my cool. It's a huge milestone for me.

If you listen to the words and you know anything about me and this year of change for our family you'll perhaps understand why it moves me so much. I secretly always imagined Willy singing it to me (y'know.. if he had a Phillip Phillips kind of voice.) I'm not sure if it's the increased air time that the song is getting on the radio these days, or if I'm actually adjusting and getting comfortable in my new home, but I'm grateful that the tears didn't fall today when I heard the song in the car because up until today tears were the natural consequence of hearing the tune.

Other sure fire ways to make Angie burst into tears these past few months include:

• Having to change my shipping address for online orders and billing address with various financial accounts
• Hearing the word "aloha", especially when friends in Hawaii say it to me as a farewell when we're hanging up the phone
• Catching myself and writing "Thank you" at the end of my notes instead of "Mahalo"
• Seeing a photo of a familiar Hawaiian place (Facebook has been fairly brutal since I have so many friends in Hawaii who post pics of their day-to-day... May I take this moment to apologize for sharing so many Hawaiian pictures in the past. Now I understand how it may have been perceived as rubbing paradise in your face. I promise it was never my intention, just like I know it's not my Hawaiian friends' intention to make me weep when they post a picture of Ko'Olina or a rainbow or a sunset over the Pacific.)
• Watching Hawaii Five-0 and recognizing streets I've driven down, beaches I've played on, familiar landmarks and locations.
• Having a Hawaiian business call me and listening to familiar Hawaiian hold music
• Hearing about friends who are going on vacation to Hawaii and wondering if I'll ever get to go back
• Getting email newsletters from Hawaiian businesses that I subscribed to for special deals and not being able to use them
• Thinking I look kind of sickly and then realizing that I'm just paler because my tan is fading
• Seeing my two best friends in Hawaii dancing hula together
• Hearing fighter pilots at the air show we went to a couple weeks ago (The military presence on O'ahu is huge and we would have F-18s and F-22s fly over our home frequently. When we'd hear them roaring overhead we'd almost always run to a window to see if we could catch a glimpse of them and identify what kind of plane they were.)
• Hearing "WHY would you leave Hawaii?!" for the gajillionth time in a day

The reality, thank goodness, is that the tears come less frequently now. For the first couple months I sunk into a pretty deep depression. I tried to cover it up and keep it bottled inside, but I think it's fair to say that I was miserable and holding myself down. I finally clawed my way out of the pit I was in, started exercising again, gave socializing with new people a half-hearted attempt, and faced the things that hurt me the deepest instead of avoiding them (like dancing hula... it took me almost two months after leaving Hawaii before I could emotionally handle turning on my hula music and letting it move me again.)

This particular move has been one of the biggest trials of my life. I suppose that probably sounds pretty dramatic, but it's my reality. It's been hard. Plain and simple. But I'm so grateful to be finally coming out of the funk I've been in for a good chunk of this year, and I'm grateful that my family didn't give up on me as I've gotten through this. They've all thrived here. I've felt like I'm barely surviving, let alone thriving. But I've been able to "hold on to [them] as we go. As we roll down this unfamiliar road."

And I know I'm not alone. We're finding a way to make this new place our home.

Learning the real meaning of "aloha"

With a move off the island imminent* we've started attacking our Hawaiian Bucket List with focus and determination. When we left California in 2008 after living there just a little over a year and a half we left full of regrets. We'd never had any reason to think we weren't staying there in California for the long haul so we hadn't felt rushed to explore and experience Northern California the way we could have. Consequently, we left realizing that we hadn't even visited some of the most obvious and amazing places in that part of the world.

So when we came to Hawaii we were determined to make the very most of this adventure and make sure that if we ever left we would do so with no regrets, with nothing left on our wish list of things to experience. As a result, we have experienced the islands like many, many locals never even experience. I've met people who've lived here their whole lives who've never been to Hanauma Bay, never visited the Arizona Memorial, never hiked Diamond Head. We've embraced the adventure of living here and taken part in as many Hawaiian experiences as we could. The happy result is that our original list of things that we wanted to be sure to do while here have been done! But of course we've added things to the list while living here and learning more of what the island has to offer. Our current Hawaiian Bucket List isn't actually very long. It consists of just a handful or so of things we haven't yet done but would like to do. And it also includes a few things we simply want to do one more time before leaving. Things that we've loved doing previously, places that hold special spots in our hearts. So we're packing our weekends with a few new adventures and revisiting some of our favorites. It's a very bittersweet time. But I LOVE that our Hawaiian Bucket List is mostly things we want to experience again. We've taken advantage of this place that we've called home for nearly 4 years. When we leave it will be with no regrets.

 Now in theory, the idea of redoing things that have been particularly special or important to us is a lovely idea. But when we started carefully planning our weekends to include each item on the list and then we actually started executing our plan I realized it was going to be brutally difficult to let go of this place. Ever since Willy lost his job in January I've known we'd be leaving the island, but I've been very selfishly in denial. When I truly think about leaving this place that has such a firm grip on my heart I weep. Every. Stupid. Time. My approach to dealing with the weepiness that results from thinking about the move is to... not think about the move. But we're running out of time, so I've had to think about it. And we've had to get serious about crossing things off our remaining list before we run out of time here.

So two weekends ago Willy and I took a trip to Waimea Valley to "hike" (aka walk up the lovely paved trail hehehe) through one of the most spectacular botanical gardens on the island for Willy to take pictures to his heart's content and for us to enjoy some time in the pool at the base of Waimea Falls. The first time I swam in the water below the waterfall I remember thinking "This is one of the most amazing things I've done in my entire life." The setting is spectacular. The waterfall is breathtaking and powerful. The experience is therapeutic and almost spiritual. I absolutely love Waimea Falls. It's one of my favorite places on the island. And somehow it became the first thing we crossed off our list of do-one-more-time experiences.

It also became the first place I had to say good-bye to.

We stayed in the 65 degree water much longer than we should have. We swam from one side of the waterfall to the other. We let the waterfall current push us across the pool of water and then we swam back to the base of the falls enough times that I lost count. We played together in the water and talked about how amazing the place was. We floated quietly and soaked in the experience. We postponed getting out of the water for as long as possible. But eventually it was time to leave.

As the sun dried and warmed me I studied my environment, trying to memorize the details. I didn't want to forget the beautiful cliff walls surrounding the water at the bottom of the Falls. I didn't want to forget the color of the rocks. I wanted to remember the greenery and vegetation of the valley. The temperature of the water. The slippery rocks under feet as you enter and exit the pool. The blue sky backdrop you see when you're floating on your back looking up at the Falls. I didn't want to forget a single thing.

But then it was time to go. And the most overwhelming feeling of love and appreciation for this place, one of God's most amazing creations, washed over me. How do you tell a location good-bye? How do you express to a place just how much you love, admire and appreciate it? "Aloha" means hello, good-bye and love. For the first time since moving here I think the full depth and meaning of the word reached my heart. I pressed my fingertips to my lips, blowing a kiss of sorts, while looking at the falls and whispered "Aloha".

And I wept. Because that's how I roll.

Waimea Falls, O'ahu, Hawaii

 

And a few of Willy's beautiful shots from the day. Is it any wonder that I'm emotional having to leave this amazing and gorgeous place?!

* Imminent move.... no formal job offer yet so no official relocation destination. But we're anxiously awaiting news from a company that has indicated that an offer is in the works. If the offer is right, we'll most likely be leaving at the end of June or very beginning of July. As bittersweet as it is to leave Hawaii, it will be a huge relief to get out of this limbo state of being that we're in right now and actually know where we're going next!

Fantasy fulfilled...

Apparently a fantasy was fulfilled in our house recently. Not one of our family members' dreams come true. No, it was the fantasy of Ben's new best friend. He's an only child with an immaculately clean mother, apparently. He's never been allowed to leave his room messy. Now Ben is pretty tidy and he's reached that age where he likes things in order in his own personal space, so his room is clean the majority of the time. Brady's room on the other hand? Utter chaos. And I know this sounds ridiculous but it's in a spot of the house where I simply don't have to wander very often so the room doesn't get my attention very often so it gets worse and worse and worse until we have a disaster zone of epic proportions. Well Ben's friend came to stay the night a few nights ago and caught sight of Brady's room. One might think he'd recoil in horror, having been raised in a spotless home. But nope. He saw the Toy-splosion and Carpet O' Clothing (clean or dirty? who knows!) and he actually asked "Can I roll around in it?" Brady, slightly weirded out responded "No!" but Ben gave his friend permission and the next thing the boys knew, Ben's friend was sprawled out on his back in the middle of Brady's bedroom filth in what the boys could only describe as "swimming through the piles of laundry".

Fantasy fulfilled for Tim.

Nightmare initiated for poor Brady. No t.v. or xbox until his floor can be seen and the mountain of mayhem has been obliterated.

In similar news, my holiday dishes have almost all been washed.

Yeah. That's how we roll.

For those who want to create a Love Wall

Between comments on Facebook and the comments here on my most recent blog post I had quite a few people express interest in creating an "I Love You Because" wall in their home. I was really tickled by the thought of this concept spreading far and wide and it made me grin to consider all my friends' families writing each other little love notes in their homes!

Here's my personal reality though. I see an idea that I love. I roll it around in my brain and think of ways to tweak it to make it more personal. I consider colors and placement and variations. And I come up with a great plan to implement the project idea that inspired me.

And then I do nothing.

And the idea joins the countless others that I've been momentarily passionate about and then tossed aside in pursuit of other! cooler! more exciting! projects.

This happened to be one project that I actually acted on and I'm so happy with how it's affecting my family! I figured I could make this project easy for you to actually take from concept to hanging on your wall, too. I packaged up what I had already created for my home, added a few alternative options (5x7 and 4x6 sizes included, three different patterns, eight total colors and a choice of black or white wording) and put together a simple Assemble Your Own: Little Love Notes product just for you. If you've got some basic photo editing software and can work with layering .jpg files and .png files you can make this work and have some lovin' art in your home in no time!

The Assemble Your Own: Little Love Notes product is available in the Scrap Girls boutique HERE right now and by happy coincidence there's a sale going on through Saturday night for 40% off all Assemble Your Own products so the timing couldn't be more perfect. I was almost giddy when I saw the email blast from Scrap Girls in my newsletter a few minutes ago telling me about the sale. Perfect perfect perfect!! Enjoy :)

If you don't happen to have some basic photo editing software but you want to do this project for your walls and you know which size/color/pattern/wording combinations you'd like I can assemble them for you and email them to you ready for printing. The cost for my time in assembling the Little Love Note in your specifications and sending it to you for your personal use only will be $1 per love note. Not bad for a quick splash of color and sentiment on your walls right? If you're liking the concept but have a different color or wording in mind, just drop me a line and we can work out the details of your request.

And please, please, pretty please be sure to snap a shot of your Love Wall once it's hanging! I'd LOVE to see it!!

New wall hanging in our home...

I'm really excited about a little project I finally finished and hung on the wall in our new home. I mentioned it a few weeks ago on Facebook. I hadn't done any designing for a few weeks due to the move, and actually hadn't even opened Photoshop in probably two weeks and I was desperately missing it but finding it tricky to get back in the designing groove while there were still things to organize, unpack and settle here in our new home. Well my good friend Wendy encouraged me to open Photoshop and do something. So I did! I tackled a very simple project (inspired by a Becky Higgins project) that I'd had bouncing around in my head for a while. I layered some paper texture to give my little project some depth, I played with colors and fonts until I was satisfied, and I sent it all off to Costco to be printed.

Then I went frame hunting in eight different stores. I bought frames three different times thinking I'd found the perfect option but then realized I didn't have what would work best in the space I had designated for the project. My extremely simple idea turned into something almost paralyzing because I wanted it to be perfect. That ugly, ugly goal of perfection. Ugh! Fortunately in my quest to find the "perfect" frame I did stumble upon some vinyl wording on clearance that actually was... perfect! I found my very simple, very basic 5x7 frames and was finally able to head home and hang my work! An evening with the ladies at church and a great discussion about decorating our homes (thanks Kahala!) and I finally got up the nerve to just hang the stuff and go with it!

Incidentally, I had originally planned to make message frames just for the kids but then I thought about it for a few minutes. My "love language" is Words of Affirmation, and bless my hubby's heart... he doesn't know how to speak my language very well. So I decided, in a moment of inspiration, that both he and I needed to have message frames as well! And even if he forgets to leave me little messages, I'm hopeful that the kids will enjoy including me. For the little photo shoot of all the first messages I wrote I decided I wasn't going to leave myself out, and I even wrote a little love note to myself. It was a fun kick-start to our little love project. Here's what the family saw once it was all on the wall:

I recognize the writing is a bit small so here is what I wrote on each of them:

Daddy: I love you because you work hard for our family.

Mommy: I love you because you are sticking to your plans and goals.

Ben: I love you because you set a good example with your tidy room.

Brady: I love you because you are always kind to your sister.

Toby: I love you because you give good cuddles.

Molly: I love you because your giggle makes me smile.

My kids were tickled when they realized I wasn't just hammering and hanging random things on the wall. In fact, after Brady read the frame with the message to him in it, he held his head a little higher and walked over to the couch and sat down next to Molly and put his arm around her and snuggled her for a while. It was, dare I say it? The perfect reaction! Exactly what I was hoping for.

Now this is how the project works. The color and standard "I love you because" message is printed and framed. Then we use a dry erase marker to write on the glass inside the frame and we have ever-changing public love notes right inside the door of our home where we can all see it first thing when we get home. The kids have grasped the concept swiftly and enthusiastically. Here are a few of the notes they've written to each other since I hung the frames a few days ago:

Brady to me:

(My personal fav so far) from Daddy to Ben:

Toby to Molly:

Daddy to Toby:

Toby to Brady:

And the kids' favorite, from Brady to Daddy:

As it says in one of my (and my grandma's!) favorite hymns "There is beauty all around, when there's love at home!" Beauty and love! That was the goal.