101 Things in 1001 Days

A few times a year I am asked to write an article for the Scrap Girls newsletter. I had one of my articles published in the newsletter this week and wanted to share it here. You can see the entire article as part of the newsletter HERE or scroll below to read it. And I'm including the layout I created to accompany the article here, as well.

All supplies used to create this layout can be found in the Ang Campbell section of the Scrap Girls Boutique 

Two years ago, I clicked on a link shared by one of the community members in the Scrap Girls Forum. That link sent me on a journey that has now been two years in the making, with several months left of the experience to look forward to! I wish I could remember who shared the link to the Day Zero Project because I would thank her personally for the adventure I've been on! Whoever you are, THANK YOU!

Day Zero Project is a free service website that claims to be "the largest community of challenge-based goal setters in the world." Whether that's accurate or not mattered very little to me. What I loved about the Day Zero Project was the spark it ignited in me personally to set goals, big and small, and start conquering them. The criteria was simply to choose 101 realistic but challenging tasks I wanted to complete with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined and to complete those 101 tasks within the 1001-day time frame.

Creating my list of 101 tasks was trickier than I expected, but it was fun. I set simple goals and lofty goals, silly ones and serious. I decided on skills I wanted to learn and talents I wanted to refine. I chose tasks that would introduce me to new places, flavors, experiences, and cultures. The site provides an easy tracking system for marking off tasks as they're completed, and as the months have gone by, I have thoroughly enjoyed completing tasks and proudly checking the box to show that I've done it! I still have a lot of tasks to complete in 2014, but with my 1001-day deadline looming on November 21, I'm moving forward with determination! I've already decided that if for some reason I don't quite complete all 101 tasks, I'll add those incomplete tasks to a new list of 101 tasks that I will begin on November 22!

I know that it's impossible to read all those itty-bitty words on my layout, so I figured I better share a little sampling of my 101 tasks so you know what I've been up to and what I'll be working on this year!

A few tasks I've already completed (in addition to those pictured and described on the layout):

• Participate in 12 races in 2012

• Watch the sunrise and sunset over the ocean in the same day

• Take part in a "real life" book club discussion

• Reach 100 followers on my blog

• Be a Scrap Girls Club featured product designer

• Get a mammogram for the first time

• Take each of my kids on a one-on-one "date"

And here are a few tasks I look forward to still completing:

• Pay off my personal credit card

• Make a special treat for my kids for each major holiday for a year

• Memorize and learn to play by heart the song Tribute by Jon Schmidt on the piano

• Run a total of 1,000 miles

• Audition for something

• Get my eyebrows threaded

• Learn to tie a tie

You can check out my entire list of tasks here. And better yet? Create a list of your own and start your personal journey of 1,001 days!

No reason not to...

I've had the intention to write this blog entry for several weeks now. It's been rolling around in my brain and I've been acting on the thoughts, but I want to write it all down, too, because it's been a very a-ha kind of experience for me and I feel really fortunate to have had the lightbulb moment that set some positive action in motion in my life.

I have a tendency to just muddle my way through life.

I'm kind of lazy. I try not to be. I always have a to-do list with about a gazillion things on it. I can be productive, I just don't always choose to be. I make a lot of excuses. I'm a terrible procrastinator, and I've adapted and learned to work well under pressure. But working under pressure doesn't make me happy. Making excuses doesn't make me happy. Procrastinating doesn't make me happy. Being lazy doesn't make me happy. And darnit, I want to be happy!

Sometime around the end of 2012 I was contemplating possible resolutions to work on in 2013 but *shudder* I hate resolutions. They always seem to result in giant flopping failures about 4 days into a new year. So I was determined to adopt some positive habits but I was resisting the urge to actually call them resolutions. And I feel like goals should be specific and measurable, so just adopting positive behaviors didn't really even fit into the goal category either. I didn't know how to quantify or classify the improvements I wanted to make. But I knew I needed to make improvements.

I knew that I needed to be more consistent in the act of saying my personal prayers. I knew that I needed to be more consistent in reading the scriptures. I knew that I needed to spend quality time with my kids. I knew that I needed to move my body more (and more often). And eat more fruits and vegetables. And drink more water. And the list of SIMPLE but beneficial habits that I knew I wanted to adopt kept coming to mind. But they're all things I've known for... well... forever, that I should be committing to habit, but I've never been successful about tackling them all and doing them all consistently. Like any of my former New Years resolutions, the act of trying to adopt new habits intimidates me and overwhelms me to the point of abandoning the effort within a few days.

I make excuses. I procrastinate. I'm lazy. And the habits never fully take root.

And then it came to me.

There's no reason not to.... 

I considered this little epiphany and applied it to some of those habits I've wanted to establish but have never successfully and consistently managed to do.

There is, quite literally, no legitimate reason that I can come up with to not say a prayer to my Heavenly Father each night before I go to bed. Too tired? Excuse. Don't want to get on my knees? Excuse. Worried about spiders or critters on the floor? Excuse. (C'mon. I lived in Hawaii. This was an honest excuse that I've used myself! LOL) Nothing terribly exciting about the day to say "thanks" for? Excuse. Nothing terribly important to ask for help with? Excuse. Feeling guilty about a choice I made and don't really want to own up to it? EXCUSE (and perhaps the biggest reason I SHOULD be on my knees...) There is simply no reason not to pray at least each night before I go to bed.

There is, quite literally, no legitimate reason that I can come up with to not open my scriptures and read a verse (or more!) each day. Tired? Excuse. Read it before? Excuse. Left scriptures in my church bag? Excuse. Something else I'd rather read at bedtime? Excuse.

There is, quite literally, no legitimate reason that I can come up with to not intentionally move my body for at least 20 minutes a day. Woke up late? Excuse. Cold outside? Excuse. Bored with workout routine? Excuse. The "day got away from me"? Excuse. Don't have time? Excuse. Don't want to get sweaty just for a quick workout? Excuse. Every single "reason" I give myself for not getting my butt out of my office chair or off the couch to intentionally move my body is just an excuse. Twenty minutes is NOTHING in the grand scheme of my day. I waste way more than 20 minutes in the day. There's no reason to not convert 20 of those wasted minutes into moving my body in some manner.

I kept applying the idea and managed to come up with no legitimate reasons to not add a few positive habits into my life. And I came up with a lovely little list of "no reason not to" habits to adopt daily, weekly and monthly. (Some of these are personal and church-specific, but the concept is universally applicable.)

There's no reason not to ... pray daily.
There's no reason not to ... read scriptures daily.
There's no reason not to ... have intentional one-on-one contact with each of my children daily.
There's no reason not to ... intentionally move my body (some form of exercise) for 20 minutes daily.
There's no reason not to ... drink 64 oz of water daily.
There's no reason not to ... eat fruits and vegetables daily.
There's no reason not to ... wash my face daily.
There's no reason not to ... write down a few things I'm grateful for each day in my journal.

There's no reason not to ... have Family Home Evening weekly.
There's no reason not to ... dance hula weekly.
There's no reason not to ... practice my ipu heke beats weekly.
There's no reason not to ... play the piano weekly.
There's no reason not to ... contact my parents and grandma weekly.

There's no reason not to ... read my patriarchal blessing monthly.
There's no reason not to ... read the Ensign monthly.
There's no reason not to ... do temple work monthly.

There are other things that I know I could be doing routinely, and there are no legitimate reasons not to do those things, either, but I'm not ready to abandon all my excuses quite yet hehehe. I'm not aiming for perfection here. Just improvement. And these simple things are the improvements that I want to prioritize. I anticipate adding to my list when these things are so natural and routine that I don't have to remind myself to do them any more. And I antipate improving on these habits as time goes on. Because really, is there any legitimate reason to not pray morning and night? Or to not intentionally move my body for 30 minutes instead of 20?

Now just because there's no reason not to do all these things doesn't mean I won't stumble across a legitimate reason to skip something one of these days, I'm sure. And I'm sure I'll occasionally make excuses or allow excuses to get in the way of me doing them all. I'm not perfect. That's life. But I'm happy to report that I'm making a lot of progress since shifting my mindset and identifying these habits to work on. I'm happy to have done all the things on my daily list daily since the beginning of the year. And I'm happy to have consistently done my weekly list weekly.

Simply put, I'm happy!

Happy habits, happy me.

Three Little Thankfuls

It started six years ago with a little writing assignment. We were instructed to write about three little thankfuls. Not the obvious things like family, faith, health or wealth. We were required to think about the little things in life that we're thankful for and share them in our writing assignment. I've enjoyed reflecting on those little things each year and trying to identify a few to share, and I'll do the same this year.

1- This is embarrassing. But this is as real as it gets. This year I'm thankful for the insanely catchy, absolutely ridiculous, make-me-move song of the year... Gangnam Style. Apparently 790 MILLION of us can't get enough of this song according to the views count on You Tube. I've actually wanted to blog about this song for a couple of months but have felt silly every time I consider it. If this doesn't sound overly dramatic I don't know what will, but I honestly give credit to this crazy K-pop song for pulling me out of my depression. When it comes on I can't help but smile. When it comes on my kids and I dance. Every. Single. Time. Nothing else was able to pull me out of the funk I found myself in after leaving Hawaii and trying to find my center in this new home of ours. But when this song plays, I'm genuinely happy. The first time the kids and I heard it on the radio in the car we flipped out we were so excited! We pulled into the driveway, cranked up the car stereo, leapt from the car, and we danced and danced and laughed and danced. Happy memory. Happy song. Definitely one of my three little thankfuls this year. I dare you to watch this ridiculous video and try not to crack a smile.

2. This year I'm thankful to experience seasonal change once again without having to deal with hard-core winter temps and snow. I loved the year round moderate temperatures in Hawaii and the constant and consistent beautiful weather. But I forgot how good it feels to warm your body up in a nice hot shower, or how comforting it is to cuddle in a blanket. I like my new fuzzy socks that help me keep some feeling in my otherwise icy toes. I LOVE the feeling of running outdoors in the chilly air. I'm thankful for seasonal change.

3. I'm not sure if this really counts as "little" because it has felt pretty huge, but I'm really grateful for the way our move played out. I'm thankful that all of the boxes we shipped from Hawaii containing the things most important to us arrived more or less intact and safe. And I'm grateful for my dear Louisianian friend Karen who graciously accepted our mountains of boxes and stored them for us until we had a house to move them into. And I'm really grateful that despite having no furniture whatsoever when we arrived in Louisiana, we quickly had a fully furnished home thanks to the generosity and kindness of people here in our area. We put the word out at church that we'd moved here with basically nothing and we were completely provided for. The generosity was amazing and overwhelming. We have a mix-and-match assortment of furniture to be proud of. We felt the love and we recognize the enormous blessing. I'm so thankful!

What three little things are you thankful for this year?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Because I didn't want to repeat things I've shared in the past, I figured I better re-read some of my old writings. It was fun to take a little trip down memory lane. And I figured I may as well link 'em all here for kicks and easy reference next year when I need to be reminded again. Please ignore the weird color formatting on my old blog. I used to change it up a lot...

2006 Part One
2006 Part Two
2006 Part Three
2006 Part Four (I may have gotten a little carried away that first year LOL)
2007
2008
2009
2010 Part One
2010 Part Two
2010 Part Three
2011 (That's the year I got a little over-enthusiastic and went for Thirty Days of Thankful, before doing a month full of "I'm thankful for..." posts was the cool thing to do.)

I think I might be done with beating myself up...

I have a really bad habit. I LOVE to write to-do lists. But I'm overzealous in a big way. Rarely, if ever, are my to-do lists lists that can actually be done in a day. It's like the worst kind of sabotage and I set myself up for failure every morning. I wake up excited to tackle a day (Seriously! Sometimes when I'm writing my lists I actually get excited at the prospect of such productivity!) and get out my scrap of paper and start jotting down everything that I'm just sure I'll be able to accomplish in the next 15 hours. Okay let's be real. In my next 18 hours. I'm never, ever in bed before midnight no matter how many times I set that goal...

So I write down the whole list of things to do. The errands, the bills to pay, the chauffeuring gigs, the household chores, the design work I want to do, the meals to cook, the exercise to fit in, etc. I write it all down. Usually with boxes to proudly place my check mark in when I'm ready to tick off a completed task.

And then I usually plow through the first 2-3 things on the list. And I mark them off with a smug grin. Look at me taking down this monster list! I am woman; hear me roar!

And then somewhere around the time that Molly drops the milk jug, or Toby can't find a clean pair of jeans and has a complete meltdown because heaven forbid should my son (living in Hawaii!) have to wear (gasp!) shorts [the horror!] to school one day, or Brady won't stop asking for variations on what I've packed for lunch or Ben is grumbling about how heavy his backpack is.... I crumble. The list gets lost and I start muddling my way through a day of obstacles, sidetracks and lots and lots and lots of messes.

At the end of the day when I find my morning list buried under piles of school notes or receipts, I see a few measly boxes check marked and a whole bunch of unfinished tasks glaring me in the face. My shoulders slump and I usually heave a few heavy sighs and I count the day as a big ol' flop.

I think I'm done with this whole beating-myself-up-daily grind. That's not to say that I'll stop making lists because I NEED to write things down to help me remember the critical stuff. I think I'm just done with only looking at what wasn't accomplished during the day and I'm going to start focusing on what I did get done during my 15 18 hours.

Today I:

• Cleaned Molly up after a nighttime potty accident. (What?! Ugh!)
• Packed lunches for my boys
• Got the kids out the door in (relatively) clean clothing
• Fed my daughter
• Fed myself (on a schedule even! The things we do to get in control of our weight...)
• Drank a ton of water (no diet soda! Yay for me and will-power...)
• Designed a fun new product to go into the Scrap Girls store tomorrow and did all the business-y stuff associated with preparing it to launch
• Designed a freebie product to offer Scrap Girls customers in the near future
• Designed two digital scrapbook layouts to go with my new products (and to go in the kids' books! Two birds one stone baby.)
• Cheered on my weight loss pacing partner
• Accepted a little freelance design job
• Talked with a friend (when we both needed a little adult interaction)
• Agreed to help with a baptismal service at church this weekend
• Washed, dried and folded a few loads of laundry
• Put a few dishes away and cleaned the counters
• Made sure the kids' homework was done
• Had a couple of great heart-to-heart conversations with Ben about some heavy issues (LGBT club at school, racism and the prejudice against him as a minority at his school, and also confronting one of his teachers about her cuss word of choice...Wow. What a day.)
• Shuttled the kids to swim lessons
• Sent the kids to the park to play (I could have just let them keep staring at the xbox and tv right? I think getting them out the door to play is an accomplishment in it's own way...)
• Took Brady to his dance class
• Exercised for an hour at Zumba class
• Cooked dinner for Willy and I (he fed the kids while I was gone. Woot!)
• Wrote a product review to publish tomorrow on Win, Lose or Blog

And then I also:

• Checked out Facebook for a bit
• Played around in Pinterest for a little longer bit
• Played a little Pac-Man
• Watched last night's episode of the X Factor
• Read a bit of my book

Did I get new vacuum bags and get my floors vacuumed today as written on my list? Nope.

Did I get the kitchen sparkling clean as written on my list? Nope.

Did I clean up my hot spot pile of randomness in my bedroom as written on my list? Nope.

Did I create and craft a new educational game for my preschooler? Nope. (Not on my list... but c'mon. We Supermom ourselves to death sometimes and I've put stupidly ambitious things like this on my lists before.)

For goodness sake. I had a busy day! I was productive and attentive to my kids and their needs and I took care of myself and the essentials. I think I'm done with the whole beating myself up thing. I'm going to stop moaning about the non-essential things that I don't get done in any given day and start trying to celebrate the talks with my kids, the shuttling kids to and from activities that they love, the exercise, the interactions with other adults, etc as the accomplishments that they are.

Oh, and the Pac-man. I'm definitely going to celebrate the Pac-man.

Real Me: Sometimes I just want to cry

I hate it when I feel the way I do today. There's no trigger reason for this feeling. Nothing happened in particular that left me wanting to curl up on my bed and shut down for the day. But that's how I feel. I feel anxious and jittery. I feel overwhelmed. I feel angry (at no one and nothing in particular).  Mostly I just feel like crying. And I don't know why. I feel like I have so many good things going on in my life that there's actually no reason whatsoever to feel unhappy or blah, yet I do, and I can't explain or understand it. It's an incredibly frustrating emotion.

Just had to get it out there. And I feel stupid doing it because there's nothing identifiable that's causing this. But I think sometimes I gloss over the blah days or try to hide them with humor or something. But the reality is, today I feel blue. I guess it's okay to feel that way sometimes. Even if we don't know why. I hope it goes away quickly though because an ornery mom makes for an ornery house and then I'd have to pile feelings of guilt on top of the feelings of blah and I don't think I could handle that.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who goes through random, weird mood swings like this?

Real Me: Crying over pizza...

I've had a few rough days. Without fail, I find myself a few weeks into a renewed commitment to weight loss, experiencing moderate to even impressive success, and I fizzle. I could be feeling pumped up and energized and successful and powerful for three straight weeks and then BAM! Discouragement, laziness, despair? I don't know what it is, but something negative settles in and I'm so far off the track I usually can't find my way back on. I wish I could identify what the reasoning is behind this bizarre phenomenon. I have a few theories:

1) I'm impatient. Losing 17 pounds in four weeks isn't "fast enough". I always find myself hoping for more.
2) Even if the number is impressive, the mirror isn't. 17 pounds off a 300-ish pound body is barely a 5% loss and isn't even physically noticeable.
3) I miss donuts (or french fries, or candy bars, or pizza...) I miss them a LOT. They comforted me in a way that celery sticks simply do not.
4) It's a freaking ton of hard work to haul my body out there and work vigorously enough to make the scale move.
5) A girl can only eat so many salads, chicken breasts, brown rice and egg whites before she loses her will to live (let alone keep trying to lose weight).
6) The devil on my shoulder is mighty convincing when he says "Free day? Why not just take a free weekend? What's the harm in a few extra treats on Sunday, too?"
7) And of course there's this super awesome mindset: "I've never been able to get it off and keep it off before. Why should this time be any different? What's the point of even continuing?"

These are just a few of the battles I face pretty much on a daily basis as I try to stay committed to a healthier lifestyle and stay on the path to a healthier weight. When you play these awful mind games with yourself every single day you burn out. And you call it quits. Plain and simple. And even though there's nothing physically comfortable about living in a 300-ish pound body, the lifestyle that got and kept you there is what you know and it feels familiar and easy and, well, comforting in a really painful, destructive way. Stepping outside that comfort zone is HARD and you have to find a reason to do it every single stinking day. Every single stinking day for weeks, months, years... a lifetime. Losing a hundred-plus pounds isn't like dropping that pesky ten pounds of lingering baby weight. It's not like wanting to fit in a smaller dress size in time for your 20 year reunion. It's not something that can be satisfied with a quick fix or a few weeks of intense, focused effort. It's work and commitment for the long haul, and up to this point I've not chosen to make that kind of commitment.

I thought maybe an external motivator like the Win, Lose or Blog competition would at least get me through seven weeks before shutting down and falling apart. I made it three. I hit my first bigger-than-I-could-physically-handle obstacle on week four day one of the Couch to 5K training, but I told myself (and my blog) "No biggie! You can work past this! You can revise and keep pressing forward!" But that's not what happened. I went out one more time, did an extremely lackluster and unfocused C25K "workout" and then threw in the proverbial towel for the rest of the week. I ended up taking three days off exercise and had a full-blown free day plus a follow-up unfocused food day. Now I know in the grand scheme of things this is not earth-shattering. But it represented every other time I've gotten to this point and flaked out on my commitment to myself. I could feel the spiral approaching and I could feel the excuses building up in my brain, all the lies to myself, the "reasons" why this wasn't going to work. I struggled through today trying to get back on my eating plan and and trying to prepare myself for a workout this evening.

And then I was running late after some errands.

And I got pizza for the kids.

And I thought "I've had a really solid nutrition day. I can take pizza home for the kids and it won't even tempt me. Willy and I will eat something else. No problem!"

And then Willy wasn't home yet. And the kids were chowing down. And I walked by the table and grabbed someone's piece and bit off the tip of the triangle.

And I felt the tug toward the downward spiral.

But I walked away and tried to shake it off.

Then I had another bite of someone's pizza a few minutes later when I walked by the table.

And I started mentally rationalizing and arguing with myself. "One piece can't possibly have enough calories to "ruin" my day... I'll just eat one piece instead of my last two small meals of the day... I'm going to exercise tonight anyway so I'll burn it off... Ugh, I don't want to eat heavy pizza and then try running... If I run after eating pizza I'll just get sick... I've already had two bites, I may as well just eat the pizza and skip exercising today... Man it would feel good to just chow down on this pizza..."

Then Willy got home, heated up some of the pizza and sat down to eat.

And that's when I cried. Not big sobbing tears. But my eyes filled up and my heart just dropped. At first the emotion was truly because I felt so deprived! How unfair that I couldn't even have a stinkin' piece of pizza without being overcome with feelings of guilt and self-loathing. And then I realized what the emotion bubbling over the surface really was. It was desperation!! Desperation to overcome this horrible addiction to food that makes me CRY about not eating pizza. It was desperation to abandon the terribly sedentary lifestyle I live and find joy in moving my body. It was desperation to keep a commitment to myself at least!! Forget the external motivators I've tried to surround myself with! I absolutely MUST keep promises that I make to myself, for goodness sake!

Desperate. I've finally reached desperate. This is apparently what it feels like to want to change more than you want to stay the same. That's always been a nice cliche. Suddenly it's like a living, breathing reality. I don't want to feel like this any more. I don't want to be controlled by food and laziness. I don't want to be held back by physical limitations that I've brought on myself. I don't want to live with constant worry and guilt regarding the lifestyle examples I'm setting for my children. I don't want to be ashamed of quitting before I've achieved my personal goals. I don't want to lie to myself or live life making excuse after excuse any more. I've reached desperate. Surprisingly, it doesn't feel terrifying. It just feels real.

Tonight I grudgingly put my sweats and shoes on. I reluctantly turned on my Couch to 5K app and got my water bottle. I dragged my feet and headed outside at 9:30 p.m. And I re-did the very first C25K training workout. And I realized that the workout which had originally made me hope for a swift death out there during my 60 second running intervals was suddenly kind of ... well... easy? Okay, okay. Not easy. But so doable! When my timer went off I thought "Oh crud. There's a glitch in the app. It can't have already been 60 seconds!" But it had been! And those 60 second intervals were so doable that I *think* I even looked like I was running, not just walking with an ever-so-slight bounce in my step! Apparently the effort I've put in over the last few weeks has actually done something.

I felt strong!

And empowered.

And apparently desperation suits me just fine. If that's what it takes to push me toward action and positive change, I'll take it. Tonight I managed to beat down my theories and excuses and just pick up where I left off a few nights ago and keep going. And I'm going to keep going.

Even if it involves crying over pizza every now and then.

Real Me: Update on C25K and WLB

I love acronyms, don't you?

Figured it was time for a little update on my Couch to 5K progress and on my Win, Lose or Blog participation as well, in case you haven't been following along on my contest blog.

C25K

So far? This is kind of my version of hell. Well that's not really a fair statement I guess. Hell for me would be being stuck for eternity in a bathroom my boys have used for a while without cleaning. And there's no antibacterial soap. And no clean towels. Yeah. That's probably a more accurate representation of my own personal hell. But running comes in as a close second. I'm so stinkin' out of shape that this just isn't fun at all yet. I say "yet" as if I'm hopeful that running will become fun. I have some serious doubts about that, but I'm trying to give die hard (aka looney tune) marathon runners the benefit of the doubt. This is HARD. Week one was okay. I managed my alternating 60 second "running"/90 seconds walking intervals with relative competence and without thinking my life was ending, just that it was temporarily really, really uncomfortable. But apparently the difference between 60 seconds of "running" and 90 seconds of "running" (which is the next interval requirement) is MASSIVE. The first time I did 90 seconds all I could think was "Thank heavens there are fewer intervals when we have to do the longer stretch of time because if I had to do this 8 times I would die." By the time I finished up my 2nd interval I was thinking "There's no way I'm even going to make it to 6 intervals!" It was HARD. Sheer will power, competitive spirit and pride got me through that new stage of the C25K training. And I was soooooooo dreading my "run" yesterday! I finally dragged myself outside at about 1:45 to coordinate my "run" with picking up Toby from school. The sun beat down on me and I clomped along during my first running interval. When I finished I honestly wasn't sure if I was going to be able to get my breathing back in control by the end of my 2 minute walk period. It was crazy! I'm at sea level for goodness' sake. I shouldn't have trouble breathing but man I could NOT get a full breath. It kind of scared me, to be honest. And then it passed and I found myself facing the next 90 second "run" interval. Ugh ugh ugh. I trudged my way through the 6 running intervals, again purely motivated by competition and pride and somehow I actually finished the workout. I can say I finished it, but it wasn't pretty. I'm literally terrified of the next change-up in the intervals. In my next change-up I have to do 3 minutes of jogging with 3 minutes of walking. I honestly don't know how I'm going to do that! I'm afraid that by accelerating the C25K program to coincide with my Win, Lose or Blog timetable I'm really pushing my body too hard and not giving it the time to adapt to the increases in the intervals. I'm going to keep trying this 6 week plan because I'm too stupid proud to dumb-it down (even though dumbing-it-down just means doing it the original way) but I'm starting to face the reality that I may have to revert to the 9 week plan and give my body a little more time to adapt to this entirely new form of torture I'm inflicting on myself. What an adventure! ROFLMBO :) (PS It will be cool, someday, in the distant future, to be able to drop the " " marks from the word "run". I just have a hard time describing what I'm doing right now with that word heheheh.)

Whining, moaning and complaining aside... apparently this stupid C25K plan is paying off! I lost 4.6 pounds this week (and 6.2 the week before) for a grand total loss so far of 10.8 pounds! Not too shabby if I do say so myself! My eating was a bit less focused during week two of Win, Lose or Blog and I went a little nuts at the buffet on Saturday night for my free day (after downing half a bag of popcorn at the theater when we saw Harry Potter 7.2 - LOVED IT!) but I'm back on my game and hopeful for another successful week. Body-for-Life style eating is starting to feel comfortable again and the only thing I really struggle with is remembering to eat at appropriate times (every 2-3 hours). My fridge is stocked with more fruits and veggies than it's ever been stocked with before. And the good eating is trickling down to my kids. I've given them free rein on anything fresh (meaning fruits and veggies) and we've eliminated all wrapped foods and the ones we have (like pudding, crackers, fruit snacks) are for lunchtime only. They're adapting well and I'm delighted to report that as it turns out, Brady, my make-himself-throw-up-before-eating-a-salad, non-veggie eating child is a big fan of celery! So we've finally found a healthy, natural snack that he'll eat willingly. Hallelujah! I'm really proud of my kids for adapting to this with me and I'm confident that we're laying down some much healthier eating habits as a family and this might make me happier than anything else!

So! Weight is down, running sucks and life is good! There's my update. You can follow along for detailed updates on my day-to-day WLB challenge over on that other blog, but I'll try to remember to update here every week or so, as well. Thanks again to all who've been cheering me on. I can't even begin to explain how helpful that is to me. It's one of the most powerful motivating factors and keeps me "running" even when it is absolutely the last thing I want to do in my day. (Well, the last thing AFTER being forced to hang out in my boys' bathroom...)

Real Me: Temporary Insanity

I've gone and done it. I've apparently temporarily lost my mind. I knew it would happen someday, and something just snapped inside today.

I've decided to run a 5K.

I know, I know. It's nuts, but it's happening. I'm 100% positive it's not going to be pretty but it is going to happen in about 6 weeks. I blogged about it over on my Win, Lose or Blog blog (hehehe blog blog). I'd love for you to cheer me on (heaven knows I'll need it) or even join the "fun" if you're interested.

I probably should have posted my intention here first so someone could have talked me back from the ledge. I've already gone and made it official and public. What was I thinking?!

Real Me: And now for the whys...

HERE is a link to my most recent blog entry for the Win Lose or Blog weight loss competition. I shared the reasons regarding how I gained the weight in my last blog entry. Now I've shared the reasons why I'm so over being fat. I'm curious to know if any of you can relate to some of the things on my list. I suspect some of them are a little universal, and some of them will be really relatable to my friends who struggle with obesity.

In good news, even though our official weigh in isn't until Sunday, I took a sneak peek at the scale this morning and I'm VERY happy about what I saw. AND! Even better than that, because I've eliminated diet soda this week, I was conked out by 11 last night (anyone who knows me knows I'm an extreme night owl so 11 is early EARLY for me) and had a luxuriously solid 7 1/2 hours of sleep which has given me a morning full of energy and enthusiasm that I haven't felt in a long while. I got my work out done first thing and have been doing great with my food. There's no underestimating the feeling of being well-rested, well-fed, and well-exercised. Here's hoping for a few more fabulous days this week so I can look forward to a great weight loss number to report on Monday!

Real Me: How I ended up like this...

I just blogged my story of "How I ended up like this..." over on the Win, Lose or Blog page, and since it's about as real as I get, I felt like linking to it here on my personal blog was probably a solid idea. It's the first time I've tried to condense my life full of experiences and excuses regarding my weight (certainly not all-inclusive but I definitely hit the most defining moments). If you're curious about the story of my battle with weight feel free to hop over to my WLB entry which you can find HERE.

And if you're curious how I'm doing so far with my WLB competition? I'm rocking it! I've had a great week and intend to keep having a great week. I deserve a little success and I fully anticipate the scale rewarding my efforts this week.

Real Me: I don't have a clue what I'm doing...

I realized tonight that I've been posting comments on some of my Blogger friends' blogs the last few days signed in with this new Blogger account of mine. And it occurred to me that those friends may actually (wait for it...) click on my name and link back to a very boring, very empty blog with my name on it! So just in case anyone happens to be peeking in on me, I thought I better let you know that this new blog of mine is definitely under construction, definitely coming soon and until the grand opening (har har) you can consider this a pre-welcome message. I'm really excited about blogging again! But this whole Blogger thing is all new unexplored territory for me, so the "coming soon" may turn into "coming eventually" but I'm going to give it my best effort to get 'er up 'n running in the next few days. Bear with me, pretty please!